Have you ever fought with your best friend? Had an argument and felt like you never ever wanted to talk to her (or him) again? How did you feel after the argument? Exhausted? Remorseful? Furious? And after a few days, how did you feel? Did you still feel angry, or do you really miss your best friend and would wish that both of you did not have that silly fight?
As bad as you felt, and as much as you miss her, you can't bring yourself to make up with her. And it is especially hard if you were the blamed party in that argument.
Pride. We all have that, don't we?
As much as we love our best friend, and miss the times we have with her, we find it hard to swallow our pride and make the first move to salvage the friendship.
BUT. What happens when you do? The feeling you get is indescribable. When you both make up, and everything is okay again, and you can both laugh at the silliness of that argument; feels great, doesn't it? And you will realize, what's pride, when you can have your best friend back? Nothing else seems to matter anymore.
And that's how I felt today. =)
For a long time, I have been angry at God, blaming Him for certain things that are happening in my life. I refused to do my quiet time, decided not to thank Him for the food I have, shut out sermons in church (sometimes deciding not to go to church altogether), and when people encouraged me, I pushed their encouragement aside and let my cynicism take me over, saying words so bitter, it shocked even my closest friends.
I was on YouTube the whole day today, just searching for songs and listening to them (especially American Idol ones, since it's now the final 2). It is interesting to note, God's way of getting through to me; with so much "noise" of this generation, shouting probably isn't going to be good enough, and so this is how the brilliant God does it.
Bear in mind this is the shortest possible way I could summarize the tens of thousands of videos I watched today (I AM exaggerating, of course). So, American Idol songs led to Simon Cowell's comments, which led to Britain's Got Talent, which led to Connie Talbot, which led to Whitney Houston's "I will always love you", which led to Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey's "When you believe", which led to Prince of Egypt clips... and whooop. Let me stop here.
So, after watching countless videos from Prince of Egypt and reading so many God-praising comments (yes, there are many of them), I decided, ah why not just search for a Christian song and see what comments I can read.
I typed in sonic flood in the search field, and the first video that popped up in the search results was the song "Open the eyes of my heart". I clicked on that, when the song started playing, I broke down.
Each word of the song hit me like a brick.
Open the eyes of my heart Lord,
Won't you open the eyes of my heart,
I want to see you,
I want to see you.
And it was then, the walls of pride in my heart were broken. Just like that.
I clicked open the devotion folder in my email - which has collected more than 100 unread devotions - and read the passage. And I prayed, meditated, and just sat in silence, talking to God, and salvaging our "friendship".
And guess what? When I was done, it was the exact same feeling I got when I made up with my best friend (if not better). I felt revived and refreshed. My pride seemed so foolish now, and was I glad I swallowed it and chose to search for Sonic Flood.
Brings us back to the title of this entry: What makes us fools at the end? When we choose to ignore God and think we can make it on our own? When we torment ourselves by not talking to our best friend, Jesus Christ?
Yup, that's right. One word. Pride. :)
Hope my sharing encouraged you, one way or another (if anyone still reads this blog =.=). I bid everyone till next time with this:
"True revival of the spirit, cannot be described by words, be sung in a song, or depicted by actions; but it is felt in the heart."
And I was truly revived by the Lord today. God bless!
